Autumn

We recently had a change in seasons with the first day of fall. The weather even felt very fall-like with temperatures cool overnight and in the mid-seventies during the day. It reminded me of fall. I used to love fall. There was always a definite shift in the weather. The days grew shorter and the nights cooler. I loved the first cool front that came through, lowering the temperatures by twenty degrees, as the wind picked up. There was a crispness to the air, different than other seasons. It signaled the things to come, the turning of the leaves, the need for jeans and long sleeves.

I loved the fall until I moved to Seattle. The seasons are different than in Kansas. There are not four clearly defined seasons at all. There is light rain, rain and dark days, light rain with sun breaks, and then a four to six week span of summer. It’s similar in San Diego in that there are not four distinct seasons. There’s summer, and in December and January it rains and then there’s summer. Don’t get me wrong, I love the always-summer weather. I love being able to wear shorts and flip-flops year round. I no longer love fall the way I used to love fall.

My love for fall died slowly. When I moved from Seattle back to Kansas, the fall weather took me by surprise. I had forgotten that it was often rainy, like Seattle, and gray. It was bittersweet because I missed Seattle. Over the next several years, fall became associated with the dying off of all my plants, when everything became bare and desolate. It was no longer a time of excitement, with the upcoming holidays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. It began the period of staying indoors, in enclosed spaces, of being closed off.

I began to become more excited about spring, when everything would come to life. It was exciting to see the crocus flowers pop up in the front yard, and then the daffodils and tulips in the backyard would follow. The yellowed grass would begin to turn green and the trees would burst into leaves seemingly overnight. Spring storms would tear through, wreaking havoc, cleansing. And summer was on it’s way.

We recently passed quietly into fall. The weather has been fall-like, but that will change this week. We’ll be hot again, as we should be, but it’s definitely fall. The days are shorter, the sun is not as hot, there are pumpkins in the grocery stores, and pumpkin-spiced everything, from lattes to cookies, to air fresheners. Neighbors are already adding Halloween decorations to their yards. The holidays are coming. And I just don’t love fall any more.